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Vyakhya Vashistha

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: Bollywood as our Biggest Sex Ed teacher

Written by Vyakhya

Edited by Bipasha

Illustrated by Shreya Srinivasan

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Bollywood, the vibrant and prolific film industry of India, has always been a mirror reflecting the societal norms and cultural evolution of the country. One of the most intriguing aspects explored by Bollywood filmmakers is the notion of sex. From subtle romances to explicit portrayals, Bollywood has traversed a spectrum of representations. However, it is a mix of hits and misses for the film industry when it comes to portraying intimacy on screen, and today we are going to be looking at all of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly of Bollywood on the notion of sex. 


I will start with the bad because I want to present the extremes of this topic later on in this article. While Bollywood has not been the greatest sex education teacher for all of us, it deserves props for the fact that for the most part of its existence, it has managed to depict sex scenes without ever portraying physical intimacy on screen! As a 90s or a 2000s kid, all of us are very familiar with the two sunflowers coming in place of a hero and heroine during romantic songs, and what did that signify? You’re right, a kissing scene between the two protagonists! And this is not the only euphemism for an intimate scene. Various other scenes, such as the ever-so-joked-about “suhag-raat” in movies and the closing of doors or clothes strewn across the floor, always seemed to work very well in portraying the deed. But what is the problem with depicting intimacy in such a way? After all, it can be considered to be a subtle and respectful way of portraying intimate relationships, isn’t it? Well, not really. For starters, these kinds of portrayals are often stunted and devoid of any real representation of intimacy on screens, not to mention they add nothing to the character’s story because of their short-sighted portrayal of their entire experience. 


Additionally, the production value of these films only focuses mostly on its male audience through soft porn, unrealistic beauty standards, and only catering to the man’s pleasure, often blurring the line between consent and force. Furthermore, the problem lies in the fact that the idea of consent is never navigated in the entire movie, and that, coupled with this awkward depiction of sex, distorts the idea of sex being a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both the man and the woman. Take films like Jism, Grand Masti, Raaz, and Hate Story, for example, which only focus on such scenes, and end up objectifying the woman in the process, reducing her role to just that of a seductress or a damsel in distress. 


This line often and very easily contorts into the ugly, for you see, navigating the idea of consent and humanising female protagonists have been hard-to-grasp concepts for most of the industry by this point. The double entendres every 20 minutes of a romantic comedy, objectification of every curvaceous actress that exists in the industry, and making rape jokes still seem to be the norm in a lot of movies right now, not to mention glorifying acts of adultery and assault. Take the movie “Pati, Patni, aur Woh”, for example, and Kartik Aaryan’s seemingly funny rant on how his marital and intimate life is in shambles just because his wife does not physically engage with him anymore and how he is considered the bad guy if he “tricks her into having sex”. It seems that the director was not aware of the fact that “tricking somebody into having sex” constitutes rape in every shape and form. If that was not enough, item songs themselves are a bright, shining example of the ugly that exists in Bollywood. Shahid Kapoor grooving to the beats of Gandi Baat and the song being an immediate hit would have been a lot less concerning if the lyrics weren’t as problematic:


“A B C D padh li bohot, acchi baatein karli bohot, thandhi aahein bharli bohot”

“Ab karunga tere saath, Gandi baat” 

(I have acted like an educated and good guy long enough, I have waited with bated breath for you for too long,

Now I will do bad things with you)


If an entire nation grooving to this is not ugly, I do not know what is. Misrepresentation is sometimes considered to be worse than no representation, and in this case, that definitely holds true.


However, even though these examples depict the bleak side of Bollywood’s idea of sex, in recent times, there have been rays of hope in Bollywood, as well as OTT platforms, that finally represent and talk about sex in the way that it deserves to be talked about. Bhumi Pednekar’s movie “Thank You For Coming” offers a breath of fresh air in its exploration of female sexuality and a woman winning back her sexual autonomy without ever compromising on the comedic aspects of this film. The same goes for Ayushman Khurrana’s film “Shubh Mangal Saavdhan”, a movie on erectile dysfunction that expands the conversations around sex and intimacy issues in a funny, emotional, and informative way and leaves much room for thought. At the same time, there is an increased focus on people of various other sexualities and exploring their stories as well, through series and movies such as Made in Heaven and Margarita With a Straw, which gives a platform to amplify these stories and decrease the confusion felt by people around these topics by resonating with them. 


While Bollywood has not been the greatest in depicting sex until now, it is nice to know it is progressing in a favourable direction through the movies mentioned above. There is a need to increase awareness about sex and other related topics, now more than ever, and as the most famous media entity, Bollywood needs to step up its game and play its part in telling creative stories around the topic. No matter how much society shushes down conversations around sex, “picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!”





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