Written by: Ananya Athaiya
Edited by: Ananya Pooja Desai
I think I’ve grown up
The mirror can see me now,
The shelf doesn’t seem so far away,
The stairs are not my personal labours anymore.
Boxes don’t feel as heavy as they did five, ten years ago,
And if I try hard enough, the ceiling stoops down to greet me every now and then.
I think I’m growing up
Loud noises aren’t that scary, now that I can make out the excitement in them.
The darkness is still there, but I’m familiar with the light switches,
Monsters under the bed have become nighttime canvases
The colours are clearer even when memories start fading.
My room is clean (thanks mom) but moments clutter my existence instead-
Precious objects of little value.
I don’t want to grow up,
Don’t want the foreboding to hover over me.
What was simple is now not,
What was given is now uncertain.
I have a thousand questions that no one seems to have answers to
I seem to be failing subjects everyone around me is acing
Insecurity has replaced friendships, and doubt fuels my dread.
I grow, day-by-day, little-by-little,
Embracing my fears, both old and new.
I smile into the mirror, hum while lifting boxes filled with my worthless treasures
Dread still chills me at times, but now I have someone willing to share the warmth.
It might not be perfect like I thought it would be,
But it will be okay; I am still growing.
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